junkiebrewster
(stranger
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1/5/01 12:01 PM
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here's a funny story.....
[Post#: 86359
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So, I'm watching my local college team kick ass in the bowl game Monday, and I'm jumpin' up and down, and all of a
sudden I feel this sharp pain in my groin area. I stayed up all last night, in much pain, twisting around in bed, praying for
Morpheus to help.
I go to the doctor today, fearing a hernia. She pokes and prods. It wasn't a hernia. She asks me, "How many sexual
partners have you had in the last year?"
I say, "Do I count myself?"
She says, "No."
I say, " Well, there's one, two and that night in tijuana, Which comes out to none." ( Hey, I'm saving myself...At least that's my excuse.)
She says, " Get an ultrasound, you may have a twisted testicle, which is pretty serious. We're talking emergency
surgery."
So, I get an ultrsound, which involves heavy grease on my poor testes. So now I've been greased down and felt up by
no less than two trained professionals (Both covered by insurance!) and they decide I don't have a twisted testicle. (The
thought of which makes my scrotum cringe.) I go back to my doc and she prescribes an antibiotic and some Vicodin. Now my
nuts still hurt but do you think I care? Nope.
True story.
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panama
(member)
1/5/01 12:13 PM
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Re: here's a funny story.....
[Post#: 86360
/ re: 86359
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I dont think thats funny. That could be some serious shit. Personally I think its a tear in the abdominable wall can be surgically repaired. I bet you a gram thats what the final prognosis will be,since you dont care.
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BudSmokinMan
(newbie)
1/5/01 12:28 PM
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Re: here's a funny story.....
[Post#: 86362
/ re: 86359
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Hey JB, sounds like a pulled groin muscle to me, and that is always funny! I understand how you felt, I have also had to get an ultrasound of the testicles. Just a barrel of laughs, laying there half naked, all greased up, spread eagle, with some guy handling the boys. You know, they should at least have a female technician, if anybody is going to handle my balls, I prefer a good looking babe! Thanks for the laugh and hope you are feeling better.
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junkiebrewster
(stranger
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1/5/01 08:57 PM
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Re: here's a funny story.....
[Post#: 86489
/ re: 86362
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Actually, thanks for your concern, but they have no idea what it is. They're assuming it's some kind of infection, though not sexually transmitted.
I did have a women do the ultrasound, but get this-- she had to have a chaperone in room with her! There goes my malpractice suit.
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Bozo169
(member)
1/8/01 05:00 AM
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Re: here's a funny story.....
[Post#: 87100
/ re: 86489
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It only funny if you don't lose you nut. The same thing happen to my son and he lose his nut. He took it better than I did.
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Freestyle420
(newbie)
1/9/01 00:47 AM
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Re: here's a funny story.....
[Post#: 87377
/ re: 87100
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i think your just jerking off too much again!
hey, it can happen!
slow down there cowboy =)
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maca
(old hand)
1/9/01 06:52 AM
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Re: here's a funny story.....
[Post#: 87433
/ re: 87377
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You got a really wild perspective on humour if you reckon THATS a funny yarn! Where's the punch line?;-)
When injustice is law,resistance is duty.
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junkiebrewster
(newbie)
1/9/01 09:55 PM
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Re: here's a funny story.....
[Post#: 87677
/ re: 87433
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A) I am not jerking off too much, for there is far too much hair on my palms. (for some strange reason)Plus, I'm going blind and I can no longer see my smut.(Again, strangely)
B) The punchline is ....my life. (ta da boom!)
I just thought it as funny because I got Vicodin out of it. (It ain't Dilaudid, but what's a whiteboy to do?) It's always fun to get legit medication from a doctor. It kinda makes up for all those times when I was strung out on smack (many years ago) and I'd go to the doctor saying, "Uh, doctor, I've got this back pain and My old doctor prescribed me this stuff. I think it was called Deludid, Delowded, UH I don't really remember."
Of course, I'd get a handful of Tylenol and a kick in the ass. It really is easier to get if you actually need it! Man, those doctors don't go to school for ten years for nothing!
Of course, ever since kicking, now it's like I'll lie around moaning about the intolerable pain. My friends will say, "Hey, man, why don't you take the pain pills the doctor gave you?" I'm like, "Are you kidding? I'm going to wait a month and wash these down with a fifth of Crown!"
Kids, despite his name, junkiebrewster does not endorse or condone the use of opiates... unless you plan on sharing!
Seriously though, bad stuff, be careful not to fall in that trap!!!
P.S. -- My balls feel much better now, thanx for asking.
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biomem
(newbie)
1/26/01 08:31 PM
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damn.....
[Post#: 92014
/ re: 87677
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So did you get off?
(just kidding, glad your feeling better)
Hasta Peace & Rasta
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